This is where the tragedy of River’s childhood is apparent, something like the child wanting to have friends is something she hadn’t even considered. She’d been brought up alone in an orphanage with only the Silence and a senile old man for company, to her, escaping and travelling the universe was infinitely better.

She watches him for a long moment, as though something is only just starting to sink in - that she really has no idea how to give her child what they need, because she’s never had it herself. She wants to give them safety and security, she wants to hide them from the dangers she faced. To her, that means her child will never be apart from her, they’ll never have to fight to survive, or die on the streets looking for someone who cared about them.

That’s what matters to her, so much so that she’d forgotten about the simple basics any child deserves to have. She suddenly feels inherently selfish, even if she hadn’t intended to be, and the confusing clash of emotions makes her pull away from Methos.

She’s scared of her child facing the things she had, and also she’s scared she’s not fit to be a mother.